Today’s contestant in the Hall of Horrors is The Dance by Kaye Spencer — and let me tell you, this one two-steps right off the dance floor into disaster.
At first glance, it’s clear the designer had commitment issues. Instead of choosing a single unifying image, they decided to split the cover in two like some awkward divorce settlement. Up top, we get a bull rider in glittering purple mid-buck — which is bold, I’ll give them that. But then it’s paired with the tagline “He wants forever.” Forever… on the bull? Forever in sequins? Forever in orthopedic care after that landing?
The bottom half features a wistful woman staring into the distance, her tagline reading: “She’s afraid to take the chance.” Afraid of what? Afraid to date a man who’s spending his forever in the ER? Afraid of that mint-green banner cutting through the middle of her love story like an afterthought?
And then comes the pièce de résistance: “A song makes all the difference.” Which song, exactly? “Cotton Eye Joe”? “Achy Breaky Heart”? “Baby Got Back”? Unless it’s the Macarena, I don’t see how this is fixing the tonal chaos happening on this cover.
To complete the mess, we’ve got mismatched fonts, a random purple heart icon, and that glorious mint-green rectangle looking like a free Canva template. This isn’t The Dance. This is The Stumble — awkward, off-beat, and guaranteed to step on your toes.
Sorry, The Dance, but this cover is strictly off-rhythm.