When the spirit realm calls, you answer—with a floating torso, flat lighting, and ghost hands straight from the discount bin at Spirit Halloween.
Welcome to I Am Haunted, where Zak Bagans, ghost hunter extraordinaire, bravely poses in front of what appears to be a haunted green screen and a tragic case of Photoshop overconfidence. You’d think with all his paranormal credentials, he could have summoned a better designer.
Let’s start with Zak himself. Clad in department store leather and illuminated like a department store mannequin, his expression is equal parts smolder and “I just remembered I left the oven on.” The lighting on his body suggests a photography studio. The background? A swirling cloud of murky green mist, presumably meant to be “supernatural,” but more closely resembling a 2002 Mountain Dew commercial.
And those hands—oh, those hands. Two ectoplasmic palms grasp at Zak like they’re trying to adjust his jacket collar rather than drag him to the underworld. They’re blurry, semi-transparent, and layered like someone just discovered the “soft light” filter and thought, “Yeah, this is it. This is art.” Unfortunately, it isn’t. It’s more “senior yearbook prank” than supernatural thriller.
The font work doesn’t help. “I AM HAUNTED” floats in all caps, dead center, trying so hard to scream “serious paranormal memoir” but whispering “fan fiction PDF.” The subtitle, Living Life Through the Dead, is so squashed into the header space, it looks like it’s being held hostage by the title. The author’s name is huge, proudly displayed in a serif font that clashes with everything else—because why not throw in a bonus typography crime while we’re at it?
Meanwhile, the bottom line boasts “New York Times bestselling authors of Dark World” as if that will exorcise the bad design decisions. Spoiler: it won’t.
What we have here is a supernatural collision of every graphic design mistake known to ghost and man. Unblended layers? Check. Inconsistent lighting? Double check. A cover that looks like the poster for a forgotten vampire soap opera? You bet.
This isn’t “haunted”—it’s hunting for a redesign.
You may be haunted, Zak, but this cover is straight-up possessed… by bad choices.