If you’ve ever wondered what would happen if a protein powder label, a motivational poster, and a clip art fist bump had a three-way collision at a discount print shop — wonder no more.
Secrets of Martial Arts and Combat Sports walks into the dojo, trips on its font choices, and lands face-first into a steaming bowl of outdated design trends. Let’s talk about those fists — the centerpiece of this testosterone-fueled chaos.
Two beefy, over-rendered mitts clash in the center, apparently mid-knuckle-bro-hug, surrounded by what looks like explosion lines stolen from a comic book about nuclear energy. The gloves are colored in a radioactive orange-yellow gradient that screams, “We ran out of red.” Their bulging, sausage-like fingers suggest the artist Googled “power hands” and just… guessed the rest. Anatomically, they’re one step away from becoming inflatable balloon animals at a third-grade birthday party.
And then there’s the title. Oh, the title. Rendered in blaring, all-caps font with an orange gradient more appropriate for a NASCAR logo than a book cover, it commands attention — but so does a traffic cone. The subtitle — “What the Masters Don’t Want You to Know” — is giving strong YouTube conspiracy rabbit hole energy, while “Higher Concepts to Make You an Invincible Fighter” sounds like something you’d find on the back of a knockoff energy supplement called “Chi Fuel X.”
Typography-wise, it’s a full-on street brawl. Top text is crammed to the edges, middle text is shouting in gradients, and the bottom block of slogans? They’re centered like a social media meme about hustle culture. The white and purple combo down there has all the subtlety of a flying sidekick through a drywall office partition.
And what’s with the black background? It’s like they didn’t know what to do, so they just said, “Eh, void of space is fine.” It adds absolutely nothing except a sense of isolation — like this cover was banished from graphic design school and now haunts us from the shadows.
This isn’t a book cover. This is the T-shirt you regret buying at a gas station martial arts expo.
It doesn’t reveal the “secrets of combat” — it is the combat. Between fonts, colors, fists, and dignity.
Final score: One concussion, two torn fonts, and a roundhouse kick to visual harmony.