Nothing says “holiday romance” quite like a cowboy gripping a greeting card as if it’s the last Christmas spirit left in the world. Welcome to the frosty rodeo that is Reindeer Wrangler by Lori Wilde — or as we like to call it, “Photoshop: The Gift That Should’ve Been Returned.”
Let’s start with the focal point: our holiday hero. Presumably the titular “Reindeer Wrangler,” this man is a Frankenstein’s monster of stock photography and lighting mismatches. His skin tone suggests he’s basking in Texas sun, while the background screams Arctic tundra. The layering is so sloppy, it’s like he’s hovering two inches in front of the barn, inserted via drag-and-drop, like your first attempt at PowerPoint layering in 6th grade. His rope? Draped over his shoulder like a half-hearted accessory from a Spirit Halloween cowboy costume.
And then there’s The Card. Yes, capital letters — because apparently, this stock art Christmas card is the true star of the show. Held between fingers that seem confused about their grip, it sits unnaturally in his hand like he’s mid-photo for a seasonal Groupon. Not only is it off in terms of scale and perspective, it’s also positioned with the subtlety of a sponsored post. You can practically hear it whisper, “Please admire my vector deer.”
The font game doesn’t help matters. “Reindeer Wrangler” is presented in a default serif typeface, bold and bland, as if trying to compensate for the festive chaos surrounding it. “Christmas Card Cowboys,” the series title, looks like it was stamped on as an afterthought — and very nearly slips off the cover entirely. And while we’re here: can we talk about the name “Christmas Card Cowboys”? That alone deserves its own therapy session.
There’s a sad wreath tacked to the barn and a suspicious absence of, you know… reindeer. If the wrangler is on duty, his reindeer are clearly on strike.
This cover tries to be charming, nostalgic, and festive all at once — but lands somewhere between awkward stock image collage and a Dollar Tree holiday display. The design is so aggressively mediocre, it could be studied in a graphic design course under “What Not to Do: Holiday Edition.”
It’s the most meh time of the year… and this cover is jingling all the wrong bells.