“Rev your engines. Regret your layout.”
Hold on to your saddle bags, readers, because today’s Horrible Covers entry is a supernatural joyride straight through the underworld of design sins. Say hello to Riding with Ghosts, Angels, and the Spirits of the Dead by John Russell — a cover that tries to do it all, and ends up like a haunted Photoshop tutorial from 2007.
Let’s hit the gas on this disaster:
We open with a title so long it needed its own stretch limo. Instead, it’s crammed awkwardly into five lines of glowing blue serif font, desperately trying to fit in. The text screams “celestial importance,” but the glow effect whispers, “I just discovered Outer Glow in the Effects panel.” If fonts had afterlives, this one is trapped in purgatory — and it’s haunting us.
Behind the text is a smoky fever dream: clouds of cotton candy ectoplasm drifting across a forest scene. A few ghostly faces and phantom hands peer through the mist like lost clipart from a spiritualist WordPress theme. The vibe? Paranormal stock photo slideshow… curated by a confused biker.
Speaking of bikers — we arrive at the motorcycle handlebars. Yes, because nothing says “otherworldly revelation” quite like a POV shot lifted straight from Easy Rider: The Afterlife. It’s unclear if we’re riding into a celestial realm or a Spirit Halloween parking lot, but either way — we’re going fast and ugly.
And let’s not forget the color palette. Neon blue text, neon pink mist, shadowy trees, and chrome. It’s like a séance broke out during a laser tag match.
Genre Clarity? Nonexistent. Is this a memoir? A ghost hunting manual? An interdimensional Harley-Davidson marketing campaign? The cover says: “Why not all three?”
Final Verdict:
An overstuffed paranormal piñata of glowing text, ghost fog, and ghost-rider handlebars. This cover didn’t just ride with spirits — it ran over good taste and kept going.