Welcome, dear readers, to tonight’s feature in Horrible Covers After Dark — a sultry stroll through the land of high drama, questionable font choices, and the kind of graphic design that makes you wonder if the designer was paid in Hot Topic store credit. “Veil of the...
Oh, Dragon’s Lore. A title that promises adventure, magic, and fire-breathing spectacle — and yet, delivers a cover that feels more like the end boss was “MS Paint circa 2002.” Let’s start with the sword, which appears to have been plucked from a free Photoshop brush...
Proof that mountains can be majestic… and still photobombed by bad typography. Ladies and gentlemen, gather ‘round for today’s installment of “Why Did This Happen to Design?” — a little number I like to call Above It All. Here’s the setup: you’ve got a sweeping,...
When I hear the word subtle, I don’t expect a woman cosplaying as “Sexy Assassin #3” from a Spirit Halloween aisle. Yet here we are, standing in front of a cover that thinks subtlety is spelled C-O-R-S-E-T. First, let’s talk about the title: Her Subtle Investigations....
🎵 Horrible Covers Hall of Fame Entry #287: “The Tracks of My Years” – Now with 200% More Gradient Regret 🎵 Ah, “The Tracks of My Years” — a memoir that dares to ask the question: What if a vinyl record cover had a love child with a vaporwave mood board from Tumblr...
Let’s be clear: this is not a book cover. This is a PowerPoint slide from a 2008 corporate retreat that accidentally got printed and bound. From the moment you lay eyes on it, you are hit with the distinct aroma of burnt coffee in a break room where the motivational...
Ah, House of Ice and Whispers. A title that promises mystery, danger, and intrigue — and a cover that delivers none of the above, instead serving up a $12 buffet of “fantasy clichés” on a chipped, medieval-themed plate from the local thrift store. Let’s start with the...
Ah, The Clock-Maker. A title brimming with the promise of intricate gears, delicate craftsmanship, and maybe an eccentric old man in a waistcoat. Instead, what we get is a shirtless man glaring into our souls like we just scratched his Ferrari — and not a single clock...
Ah yes, Yesterday’s Murder, the perfect title for a book whose cover looks like it was designed by someone who just discovered free trial stock photo downloads and thought, “Yeah, this one screams homicide.” We open with the classic “sad person facing away from the...
Ah, Snowed In With Them — the four-book collection you didn’t know you needed, mostly because the cover looks like it was designed by someone who confused “romance anthology” with “PowerPoint template for a corporate HR seminar.” Let’s start with the main imagery:...