Ah yes, “Dating the Player,” a sports romance cover so confused about its own aesthetic that it could double as an SAT question on mixed metaphors. It’s The Legends Book 1, which—judging by this design—must be an epic saga chronicling the rise and fall of badly chosen...
How to Take a Perfectly Innocent Romance Concept and Bake It in the Oven of Questionable Choices Ah, Caked Up. The title alone promises sweet romance, flour-dusted flirtations, and perhaps a suggestive wink over a tray of cupcakes. What we got instead is an...
Gather round, dear readers, and let us behold The Edge of Tomorrow — not the Tom Cruise blockbuster, but a book cover so visually underwhelming that it’s less “edge of tomorrow” and more “the awkward middle of last Tuesday.” We start with a stretched stock photo of a...
Ah, The Art of Overthinking. A title that promises deep introspection and maybe a dash of self-help wisdom — but instead delivers the visual equivalent of a breakup text written in Comic Sans. First, let’s appreciate our cover’s emotional centerpiece: a woman in an...
Welcome back to Horrible Covers, the series where we lovingly peel back the glossy laminate of bad book design to expose the glue stick and construction paper underneath. Today’s feline fiasco comes to us in the form of Famous Felines Throughout the Ages by Ryan Burr...
Ah, White Dawn. Or as I like to call it, “Fifty Shades of Frozen Disappointment.” Here we have a cover that’s clearly aiming for “ethereal fantasy beauty” but ends up landing somewhere between “bridal boutique window mannequin” and “first-year photography student...
Ah, Advance and Retreat, Book Six of the Dark Empire series, where the cover boldly asks the eternal question: “How much bare shoulder is too much bare shoulder?” and then immediately ignores any advice you might offer. Let’s start with the layout. We’ve got three...
Ah, EOS, Book One of Dawn of the Atlantis Grail — or as the cover whispers in an oddly confident tone, “I am a Dan Brown novel’s secret society emblem… but in space.” Let’s break this masterpiece down. Front and center we have a golden Eye of Horus — fine, ancient...
Sometimes, a book cover doesn’t just tell you what’s inside — it screams it in five fonts while hurling mystics, playwrights, and philosophers at your face like a cosmic dodgeball game. The Law of Attention by RJ Spina appears to have decided that subtlety is for the...
Some covers whisper mystery. Some shout adventure. And then there’s Just Being Loki, which kicks down the door, dumps a bag of Photoshop effects on your floor, and yells, “FIGURE IT OUT.” First, our brooding male lead. He stands there, expression locked somewhere...