Paris. The city of lights. The city of love. The city of… whatever this cover is trying to be. All the Gossip from Paris bills itself as a “royal fashion romance,” but the only thing fashionable here is the boldness it took to approve this design.
Front and center we’ve got our supposed heroine, swaddled in a deep red coat with the swagger of community theater Carmen Sandiego. She’s got pearls that look like they were drawn with bingo markers and a hat so wide it’s less couture and more “please don’t talk to me, I’m blending into the void.” Behind her lurks a photographer character who looks like he was borrowed from an entirely different cartoon universe. His shading, proportions, and general vibe scream, “I wandered in from a children’s educational poster about journalism.”
And let’s talk background: ah yes, the flat blue void. To remind us we’re in Paris, someone faintly scribbled in the Eiffel Tower like a watermark, shoved between the characters as if it were an afterthought. Paris deserves better. Paris deserves at least a café sketch or two. Instead, we got clipart purgatory.
Now onto the typography—a true crime of fashion. ALL THE GOSSIP is in bold block sans-serif, stiff as a subway sign. Then comes from, in a spindly little cursive, like it’s apologizing for even being there. Finally, Paris is in a chunky, screaming script font. That’s three fonts for one title, all battling for attention like a bad runway brawl. This isn’t cohesive—it’s graphic design speed dating.
For a book that promises glamour, intrigue, and romance, this cover delivers… none of the above. Instead, it’s giving “cheap Canva template for a PowerPoint presentation about European tourism.”
All the Gossip from Paris wanted to sell chic elegance, but ended up serving discount postcard energy. The only gossip here is what everyone will be whispering after seeing this cover.