Sometimes a cover transcends bad design and ascends into a higher realm of pure, unfiltered chaos. Apprentice to the Masters is one such spiritual journey — if your definition of “spiritual” involves a snowy field, an elderly Jedi, and a rainbow that looks like it was added in Microsoft Paint during a caffeine crash.

The composition centers on what we assume is the author, Peter Mt. Shasta, sitting cross-legged in the snow, dressed in a burgundy robe, holding prayer beads… and a lightsaber. Yes, a full-on glowing blue lightsaber. Behind him, a rainbow halo crowns a mountain backdrop, in case the lightsaber didn’t already make the message clear: this man is mystical.

The image is boxed in by a flat purple frame with gold trim, giving the whole thing the vibe of a custom holiday card from your eccentric uncle who “really got into energy work last year.” The text font screams 90s fantasy self-pub, while the tagline Adventures of a Western Mystic tells you this is not going to be your standard Jedi training manual.

It’s not that the cover fails to capture attention — it’s that once it has it, you’re not sure what to do with it. Much like the lightsaber-wielding monk here, we’re left pondering: “What… exactly… is happening?”