There are book covers that make you curious, book covers that make you smile… and then there’s Bobby Massey and Team Bazzare, a cover that makes you question reality itself. It’s as if someone challenged a high school art class to illustrate a fever dream using only Microsoft Paint and unshakable confidence.
Let’s start with our hero — a human-shaped enigma in a green tracksuit, standing stiffly as if he’s just been asked to pose for a mugshot at the uncanny valley DMV. His hand is raised, but not in greeting. No, this hand is its own character — an unsettling pink starfish of defiance that dominates the composition like it’s auditioning for a body-horror sequel to Dora the Explorer.
Behind him, the Earth floats midair, forever trapped in a weird solar eclipse sponsored by clip art. Looming over it all is a jagged black mountain — or possibly a melted wedge of cheese — from which emerges a skull surrounded by a neon aura. It’s unclear whether it’s the villain, a cosmic being, or just the visual representation of this cover’s design choices.
But wait — in the bottom corner, a new subplot crashes into the frame: a beige car (let’s call it “The Beige Bullet”) careens toward us, its passengers frozen in an expression of collective disbelief. Their faces perfectly capture our own reaction to the scene: Is this real? Why is this happening? Who approved this?
The typography, meanwhile, seems to have been chosen from a PowerPoint theme titled Default Decisions. The title “Team Bazzare” — appropriately misspelled — is not just a name, it’s a prophecy. Everything here is bizarre, from the chaotic layout to the colors that look like they were picked by spinning a color wheel blindfolded.
And yet, buried deep beneath the madness, there’s something charming — the raw, unfiltered sincerity of an artist who truly believed this would grab your attention. And to be fair, it absolutely does.
So here’s to Bobby Massey and Team Bazzare: a masterpiece of misplaced ambition, a kaleidoscope of confusion, and proof that when it comes to book design, there’s a fine line between “creative vision” and “graphic mayhem.”
This isn’t just a bad cover — it’s Bazzare incarnate.