Let it snow, let it snow, let it… stop.
If this cover were any more confused about what it wants to be, it would be stuck in a snowbank asking for directions from a melted snowman. Dancing with Snowmen by Perry Stone sets out to restore childlike faith to adults—but instead, it restores your faith in just how wrong a book cover can go when left alone with Microsoft Paint and a gingerbread latte.
First, the visuals: two disembodied heads, clearly ripped from real-life photos, have been brutally photoshopped onto illustrated cartoon bodies. It’s like someone threw a live-action Christmas movie into a snow globe, shook it too hard, and then printed whatever fell out. The result is so jarring it could cause a snowblindness-level headache. If this is what “childlike fun” with God looks like, I’m suddenly very mature.
The snowman—bless his frozen little heart—is probably the most stable character here. He’s got a coal smile, stick arms, and a look in his eye that says, “Please don’t involve me in this.” He knows. He saw what they did to the heads.
Let’s talk typography. “Dancing with Snowmen” is typeset in a font that’s part whimsical sleigh ride, part ransom note. The giant red “D” is leaping off the page like it’s trying to escape this wintry fever dream. The kerning is so inconsistent it’s practically slipping on black ice. And above it, in a font that feels like it wandered in from a dental office flyer, we get the subtitle:
“Restoring Childlike Faith to Adults Who Have Forgotten How to Have Fun with God.”
Which… fine. But why does it look like a tagline for a Christian theme park built entirely out of cotton candy and regret?
Now let’s address the existential snowstorm in the room: tone. This is supposed to be a spiritual guidebook. Instead, we get cartoon ski goggles, bent knees, a snowball mid-launch, and a cheerfully smug snowman photobombing in the background like Frosty just got hired at a megachurch. It’s as if someone pitched Elf 2: God’s Plan and a graphic designer got the green light… at midnight… during a power outage.
In conclusion, Dancing with Snowmen is trying to be playful and heartfelt but lands somewhere between bad Christmas card and Youth Pastor YouTube thumbnail. It’s a sleigh ride into the uncanny valley, and no amount of hot cocoa can save it.
And yet… I kind of love it for its unapologetic chaos. Just not enough to let it off this roasting sled.