Sometimes a book cover is so desperate to be uplifting that it overshoots and lands squarely in the uncanny valley of stock photo theology. Exceedingly Abundant Life is one of those covers. It’s less “divine inspiration” and more “church PowerPoint slide that got lost on its way to Sunday service.”
Let’s begin with the Bible, floating in the middle of a storm cloud like it was accidentally summoned in a Pokémon battle. It’s glowing in all the wrong places, casting light where no light should exist, as though God outsourced His miracles to Shutterstock. The ribbon bookmarks are flapping into the ether, defying gravity, because of course they are — when you’re breaking design rules this hard, why not throw physics into the mix too?
The typography is a sermon all on its own. “Exceedingly” is in one font, “Abundant” in another, and “Life” gets the teal script treatment like it wandered in from a motivational coffee mug at Hobby Lobby. Three fonts, none of them coordinated, each one preaching its own gospel. And just in case you weren’t spiritually uplifted enough, “Our Father’s Love” is in bright red, looking suspiciously like a Valentine’s Day card from your youth pastor.
But the real pièce de résistance? The gold “Best Seller” sticker. Nothing says “authentic divine truth” like a clipart badge pasted onto the cover with all the sincerity of a kid giving himself a “World’s Best Artist” award. If you have to yell “BEST SELLER” at me in faux foil, I’m going to assume otherwise.
In the end, this isn’t a book cover — it’s a design committee gone rogue with Canva templates and a deadline. It’s trying to manifest abundance but delivers only chaos. If life really is this exceedingly abundant, maybe it’s time to pray for a little restraint.