Welcome back to Horrible Covers, the series where we lovingly peel back the glossy laminate of bad book design to expose the glue stick and construction paper underneath. Today’s feline fiasco comes to us in the form of Famous Felines Throughout the Ages by Ryan Burr — a book whose cover proudly wears its refrigerator-art heritage like a hairball on a cream-colored carpet.
Let’s start with the artwork, which appears to be a middle school art project where the assignment was “Draw nine cats using only MS Paint’s airbrush tool and hope no one notices your hand is cramping.” We’ve got what I can only describe as “Grumpy Cat’s DUI mugshot” in one corner, a tabby cat mid-‘80s aerobics yawn in another, and — because nothing says “historical” like poor composition — a cat licking a wine glass in the middle of a nebulous cloud shape. That cloud? The title box. That’s it. The design team just gave up halfway through and said, “Sure, a blob will do.”
Speaking of the title, Famous Felines Throughout the Ages promises glamour, gravitas, and maybe a regal lion or two. Instead, we get something that looks like the cat café lost power and everyone started tracing photos by candlelight. Each cat is its own clip-art-island in a sea of navy blue void, giving the whole thing the cohesion of a scrapbook page assembled after three glasses of chardonnay.
The true cherry on top — or perhaps the half-eaten kibble — is that this design radiates fridge energy. You can practically see it held up by a novelty magnet that says Purrfect! in curling script. This is the kind of art you don’t so much “publish” as you do “scan quickly before it goes in the keepsake box.”
It’s a perfect reminder: in the world of cover design, there’s a fine line between folk charm and did-you-print-this-in-Mom’s-office. And, friends, we’ve crossed it here — with a whisker and a tail to spare.