Somewhere between a high school chemistry worksheet and a pharmaceutical ad lies Gemini Rising — a book cover that’s less “mysterious thriller” and more “PowerPoint template gone rogue.” Harley Christensen’s entry into A Mischievous Malamute Novel series leaves us with one burning question: what on earth is a dog doing in this test tube-themed fever dream?
Let’s break this experiment down. The cover starts with a stock photo—no judgment there, we all love a bargain—but this particular stock image appears to have been ripped from an off-brand biology textbook. We’ve got test tubes, beakers, a mystery liquid pouring dramatically (for science!), and a faint grayish-pink background that screams “hospital waiting room” rather than page-turning suspense. You can practically hear the Bunsen burner humming offscreen.
But the true lab accident here is the overlay of molecular diagrams and floating digital nodes that are supposed to scream “techno-scientific thriller.” What they actually say is, “I googled ‘science graphics’ and added them all.” It’s a swirling mess of hexagons, lines, dots, and meaningless chemical squiggles, layered so thick you’d think the cover was hiding a secret chemical formula. Spoiler alert: it’s not. Unless the formula is H₂O-MG-LOL.
And then there’s the typography. Oh, the typography. GEMINI RISING is in an all-caps slab serif so bold it could crush a building. It’s trying to dominate the scene with all the grace of a linebacker at a yoga retreat. Meanwhile, A Mischievous Malamute Novel sits underneath like a nervous intern who wandered into the wrong meeting — one where absolutely no dogs are present, and everyone’s discussing stem cell espionage.
The author’s name, HARLEY CHRISTENSEN, is shoved down at the bottom in thick white text with just enough drop shadow to say “I heard contrast was important.” Unfortunately, it’s also shoved directly over the busiest part of the background, making it a squint-fest to read. Not ideal when you’re trying to sell a book and not a pair of broken glasses.
This cover is having a full identity crisis. Is it a cozy canine caper? A scientific thriller? A chemistry teacher’s blog? The visual language says “cloning conspiracy,” while the subtitle says “wacky dog adventure.” Imagine watching Breaking Bad and then finding out it’s narrated by a sassy malamute. Tone. Matters.
In conclusion, Gemini Rising looks like it was designed during a caffeine-fueled Canva session, under duress, with no clear genre in mind and a deep, unshakable love for glassware. It’s not rising — it’s dissolving in its own beaker of muddled design choices.