If you’ve ever wished your bookshelf screamed “scandalous suburban melodrama staged in a Sears dressing room”, then Mother, How Could You! is your fever dream come true.
Let’s set the scene: A heavily pregnant woman, possibly mid-contraction, is caught in what can only be described as a dramatic performance worthy of a mid-season soap opera finale. One hand to her face, the other on her belly, her expression says “I can’t believe you’ve done this,” but the dress says “I gave up by page ten.”
Enter stage left: a younger woman in an aggressively 80s blouse unleashing what appears to be a karate chop of betrayal. Behind her, a man—presumably the source of everyone’s collective trauma—stands with all the emotional energy of a toaster oven. Is he shocked? Confused? Did he forget his line? We’ll never know.
The real star here, though, is the title design, shouting at us in furious red caps:
MOTHER, HOW COULD YOU!
Subtle as a chainsaw in a church. And just when you think the drama’s over, we’re hit with a subtitle:
“Of all the things for her mother to do.”
Which feels less like a tagline and more like something overheard in a dimly lit Applebee’s.
This isn’t just a bad cover. It’s a fever dream from an alternate universe where Lifetime movies are painted by courtroom sketch artists. Everything—the clashing fonts, the Victorian fainting poses, the uncanny valley of human emotion—comes together like a slow-motion soap opera scene where no one remembered to cue the music.
This is cover art that looks like it was illustrated during a family therapy session. A masterclass in how not to set the emotional tone of your novel, unless your goal is to accidentally parody your own book.
And if this is the new cover for a former title called The Surrogate Sister… well, now that explains a lot. Probably too much.
Final verdict: This isn’t a novel—it’s a nuclear Thanksgiving dinner in paperback form.
Congratulations, Mother, How Could You! You didn’t just break the rules of good design…
You dramatically gasped, pointed at them, and demanded a paternity test.