There are bad covers, and then there are covers that look like they crawled out of Microsoft Publisher 2003 and begged to be taken seriously. Room with a View and Homicide falls squarely in the latter category, a shining example of why cozy mystery doesn’t mean “cut corners and let the office intern handle the art.”
First, let’s address our leading lady. She’s supposed to be the star of this murder-solving escapade, but instead she looks like a flat, paper-doll cutout from an HR training manual. The proportions are stiff, the expression is frozen somewhere between “I forgot my password again” and “I’m being held hostage by stock art.” She’s wearing a sensible business suit, but the vibe is less “intrepid sleuth” and more “regional manager at a conference.” Not exactly the stuff of mystery and intrigue.
Then we come to the pug. Oh, the pug. Poor Petunia B. Speaker (yes, that’s what her name tag says—try to read it without wincing). This little dog is supposed to be quirky-cute, but instead looks like a doodle dragged out of a preschool coloring book and given haunted, soulless eyes. Cozy mysteries usually have adorable animal companions; this one looks like it’s silently screaming for release from clip-art purgatory.
Typography is another crime scene. The word “HOMICIDE” is slapped across the middle in bold orange, as if the designer thought, “Maybe if we shout MURDER in bright letters, people will forget the rest of the cover looks like a community center flyer.” The rest of the font work is painfully generic, the kind of thing that comes free in a font bundle titled “Newsletter Essentials.”
And let’s not overlook the color palette. Cozy mysteries should be warm, inviting, maybe even a little whimsical. Instead, we get beige, gray, and a washed-out orange, which together scream, “Corporate annual report.” If you muted this any further, it would be invisible.
The result? A cover that doesn’t say “fun, quirky mystery with lovable characters.” It says, “Pamphlet for Murder Awareness Week, brought to you by your local HR department.” Cozy doesn’t mean lazy. Cozy doesn’t mean flat, lifeless art. Cozy doesn’t mean you grab some clip art, paste in a pug, and call it a day.
This isn’t a room with a view. This is a cubicle with a crime scene. And the homicide victim? Good design itself.