You might think nothing could prepare you for the sheer visual chaos of this cover—but nothing could prepare you. Not even Steve Beat himself, soaring through a digital hellscape of design decisions that feel like a group project gone rogue in the last hour before a deadline.
Let’s begin with the title. The Adventures of Steve Beat the Rapper, The Bestest Player in the Whole Wide World HA HA, And The Slump and the Laundromat. It’s not a title. It’s a cry for help disguised as a fever dream. There are fewer words in some graduation speeches. And while we’re here, that “HA HA”? That’s the nervous laughter of the font itself realizing what it’s been dragged into.
The central image features our hero, Steve Beat, rocketing upward in what appears to be a dollar store Superman onesie. The face is a photo—yes, an actual photographic face—plastered onto a digitally painted body like it was an afterthought. No attempt was made to match the lighting, color, or even the basic laws of anatomy. It’s a full-on sticker job. And not a good one. Think “first time using Microsoft WordArt” meets “Snapchat face swap accident.”
Let’s talk color. The background is an aggressive cobalt blue that assaults your corneas with all the subtlety of a rave in a blender. The text, in burning red-orange, bleeds into the chaos like a sunburn. It’s outlined—because of course it is—but not consistently, and not well. It just floats there, like the designer had a deep mistrust of margins.
Composition? What composition? The cover is an exercise in “put stuff where it fits and hope for the best.” The title is crammed into the top like it’s hiding from responsibility. The author’s name, in matching circus font, is weirdly placed and warped just enough to make you question if it’s part of the joke—or if the joke is on you.
The overall vibe? It’s trying to say “I’m an indie rap superhero!” but ends up screaming “I learned Photoshop yesterday and forgot to save my progress.” It may aim for ironic, but lands squarely in fartsy, not artsy.
To quote the cover itself: “HA HA.”
Steve Beat, wherever you are—thanks for this visual slap of surrealism. It hurts, but in a way we won’t soon forget.