Nothing says “buy my book” quite like slapping a branded T-shirt on your heroine and calling it a day. Yes, instead of giving us atmosphere, intrigue, or even the faintest whiff of genre, we get Cold Fever Books across her chest, like a billboard you can’t unsee. Honestly, this cover feels less like a novel and more like a mall kiosk trying to move some leftover clearance merch.
And the fonts? Oh, the fonts. Matt Heart’s name is in blaring mustard yellow, while the title itself is coated in ketchup red and neon orange. Together they create the kind of color palette you’d expect outside a discount diner off Route 66. It doesn’t scream literature—it screams “Two-for-one chili dogs inside!” If Bobbi Myers is incredible, then maybe it’s because she survived being trapped inside this gaudy typographic massacre.
The overall vibe is just as confusing. We’ve got a cinematic sunset, a mysterious man waiting by a car, and a woman who looks like she’s posing for a catalog ad. Is this a road-trip thriller? A superhero origin story? A Cold Fever Books loyalty program? We’ll never know, because the cover’s identity crisis runs deeper than the valley behind her.
Verdict: This cover isn’t just horrible—it’s multitasking as a fashion ad, a fast-food sign, and a roadside mystery novel all at once. Please, somebody wash and iron that shirt, then throw the whole cover in the dryer until it shrinks out of existence.