There are cluttered covers, and then there’s whatever this is — a digital crime scene that screams “graphic design is my passion” through gritted teeth and drop shadows.
Let’s start with the title. “THROW OUT THE JUNK” comes in hot like a passive-aggressive note from your HOA, with “DECLUTTER” bringing all the charm of a default PowerPoint font, and “NOW!” looking like it was applied using a ketchup packet and a trembling hand. The typography here isn’t just a mess — it’s a group project where nobody agreed on the aesthetic. And yet, ironically, not one of the fonts appears to be house-trained.
Now, to our leading lady — the terrified protagonist front and center, mid-scream, presumably reacting to the mess behind her or the fact that she’s just been composited into a living room that looks like The Sims glitched out mid-renovation. Her expression? A masterclass in overreaction. She’s not looking at clutter — she’s seen the apocalypse, and it’s got laundry in it.
The background looks like a thrift store threw up in a poorly rendered AI engine. We’ve got couches melting into piles of clothes, plants perched awkwardly on alien furniture, and lighting that suggests the sun is both inside and outside the house. Nothing lines up. The perspective is chaos. The aesthetic is early-2000s desktop wallpaper meets motivational trauma poster.
And then there’s the color scheme. Red, white, and black — the holy trinity of “I just downloaded Canva.” It’s meant to grab your attention, sure, but it doesn’t let go. It’s gripping your face, shaking it, and screaming, “NOW!!!” like a boot camp sergeant with a font addiction.
This cover isn’t just visually noisy — it’s emotionally noisy. It’s less a helpful guide to cleaning your house and more of a psychological thriller starring Helvetica Bold. One gets the feeling that decluttering isn’t optional. It’s a threat.