When you first look at Vita Aeterna, you might think: “Oh, a gritty dystopian epic!” But then the longer you stare, the more it feels like a college freshman’s final project for “Intro to Digital Art” where the assignment was “make Blade Runner but on a budget.”
Let’s start with the cityscape. The glowing towers in the background don’t so much sit in the skyline as they do float like lost Lego pieces jammed into a fog machine. Meanwhile, the crumbling foreground buildings look like they’re auditioning for Extreme Makeover: Rubble Edition. Perspective? Alignment? Architectural logic? Please, those things were diminished the moment this file was exported.
And then, the lone wanderer in the red jacket. A brave figure facing the apocalyptic void… except the jacket looks suspiciously like it was stenciled in with Photoshop’s spray paint tool. It’s less “symbol of defiance” and more “Hot Topic clearance section circa 2007.” Add in the random divine glow emanating from the ground—are we witnessing salvation, nuclear fallout, or the world’s brightest strip mall opening?
But the pièce de résistance is, of course, the title. VITA AETERNA could have stood on its own, but no, someone decided to splice in a DNA strand for the “I.” Because nothing says “immortality thriller” like gimmicky typography that screams, “Look, I’m science-y!” It doesn’t say eternal life, it says branding for a protein shake at GNC.
Verdict: This cover didn’t just splice DNA, it spliced together five different design clichés and hoped they’d evolve into something coherent. Spoiler alert: they didn’t.